


Good Enough

by Ashlynjade



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Blood, M/M, No Smut, Nonbinary Character, Nonbinary Deceit, References to Depression, Sad Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders, Soft Janus, Soft Roman, Suicidal Thoughts, Sympathetic Deceit | Janus Sanders, references to self harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-03
Updated: 2020-11-04
Packaged: 2021-03-08 17:21:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,751
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27360388
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ashlynjade/pseuds/Ashlynjade
Summary: After SVS  Roman is beaten down emotionally after the fight and hides in his room in a attempt to save the rest of his sanity. Janus just might know how to help Roman.Old fic terrible grammar don’t look I’ll probably redo this later tho😂
Relationships: Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders/Deceit | Janus Sanders
Kudos: 34





	1. Roman’s breaking point

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roman is not okay,
> 
> Janus has to fix it.

Roman sunk into the floor the words of the fight resurfaced in his mind. He practically tumbled to the floor of his Disney themed room and then in his arms sobbed “I-I thought” he shakenly inhaled “that I was His Hero” he never once thought that a scaled faced side would take that away from him and rip it to shreds. That performance for that part could’ve been the most important and amazing thing that could’ve happened in Thomas’s life. It could’ve helped Roman’s mental state but..... He failed. 

He failed his Purpose 

He uncovered his face and sadly chuckled  
“H-hah hah, you got what you wanted didn’t you Deceit?” He sadly chuckles to himself.  
He has never felt so damn humiliated in his entire life, he could hear Thomas and the others laughs even now. He sank in on himself and continued to sob. “Y-you humiliated m-me” 

Weeks later  
Deceit’s POV  
Deceit truly started to wonder why the princey side was still in his room after all this time, surely he would have come out by now right?

Deceit *did* mean to make fun of him after all, Deceit *didn’t* try to take Roman’s side to help Thomas’s mental state, and they definitely *didn’t* want to see Roman’s smile after they would have done that performance. No, no they *wanted* to see the side suffer like this alone in his room with no one to comfort him.

Janus guesses that they will just have to wait it out.

****Blood warning and very dark thoughts please turn back if it offends you and/or triggers you****

He turned to the only thing that he thought would help and it did, for a while. He smiled with satisfaction as he cut his smooth skin. He cut And cut And cut till the pain dissolved As he saw the blood run down his arm from the cuts that lined his own wrists he couldn’t help but chuckle sadly. ‘Blood is beautiful in its own sick way’ he thought as he stared at it starting to pool and spill over his arms like some sick, twisted crimson waterfall. 

‘You aren’t good enough so why should you not punish himself like this?’ The thoughts tore down his self esteem, he sobbed as the blade marked his legs, his arms, his shoulders.  
“You don’t even deserve the title Creativity if you can’t give ideas to Thomas without making it ALL ABOUT YOU!” the thoughts knew exactly how to tip him over the edge as they overwhelmed him, he started to think the dark thoughts breathing faster and faster, he tried to collect himself but of course the attempts failed miserably. “Thomas doesn’t really need you” the voices in his head mocked crudely “he has two creativities, remember? Remus could easily do the SAME JOB!” The voices were screaming for his attention demanding that he cut deeper. He knew that in this moment he was on the border of a panic attack but with no distraction he couldn’t stop himself thinking the thoughts were right he sobbed as he braced for the attack to come down on him like a strong wave.

Until a quiet knock sounded on his door.  
“Roman you ok?” Deceit asked through the door “*Not sorry* to bother you but I certainly *didn’t* hear crying through the door.” 

Roman gasped as this was the distraction he didn’t need right now as his attempts to gather himself was quickly destroyed as he was quickly sent over the edge. He couldn’t see anything as this attack was one of the worst ones he has had in a long time, all he could see was a black and yellow run and kneel in front of him. 

He flinched as he quickly braced himself for a attack as he raised him arms hissing for a moment as the cuts touched his hair and put them over his own head.  
“N-no p-please don’t touch me!” He quickly gasped out his eyes wildly looking across the room for a escape. 

Someone grabbed his arms softly and uncovered his head, he sobbed softly his defenses were destroyed, its not like he could even fight to begin with. Right now he was far to exhausted for that, the black blob wiped his eyes and now he could finally see better.

“J-Janus?” He gasped and trembled he was surprised that his supposed enemy would be the one who found him first.  
“Why did you come to my room first?”

Janus looked at Roman with glistening eyes “I *wasn’t* worried about you.” Deceit started to quickly explain “I *didn’t* need to know if you were alright.”

Roman looked into his eyes, and just with one glance he knew that they were telling the truth and started to tear up again.  
“Roman no, don’t cry!” Janus basically pleads, it didn’t work in fact it made Roman wails louder as he grabbed on to Janus’s coat and wouldn’t let go as he sobbed. 

Janus smiled softly to the side that was now attached to their jacket so that he could hold him better, they helped to move Roman into their lap and started to stroke his hair with soft touches as he sobbed.  
“Shhh...shhh I’m here Roman, I’m here it’s okay to be sad.”

Roman eventually quieted down to light hiccups as he felt deceit softly caress his face in one hand and run their other hand through his hair.  
“I-I’m sorry” Roman lightly sobbed out  
“Don’t be, like I said it’s *not* ok to be sad” they sat their silent for a second until Roman heard a gasp emit from the other side. “Roman what... what are these?” Janus looked at the angry red marks along the others skin.

“I-I did them” Roman stuttered 

“Why beautiful? Why would you do this to your beautiful skin?” Tears were gathering in Janus’s eyes as they looked at every scar. 

“Because! I’m stupid! I’m an idiot! I can’t even be right for Thomas, nor anything else I-I should just DIE!” Roman’s voice bounced off the walls as he turned to face Janus. 

He was shocked by what he saw when he turned.

Janus’s face was flowing with tears now, as he stared down at Roman, Roman yelped as he was quickly engulfed in the strong embrace of Janus. “D-don’t ever say that again” Janus sobbed two gloved hands flew to Roman’s face as Janus caressed his cheeks wiping tears away.

“n-never again” Janus said again  
This time silent tears rolled down Roman’s face as he stared at Janus the slowly brought his shaky hand up to the reptile eye and wiped their tears away. “I’ll try Janus, I promise.”

Janus smiled and started rubbing along Roman’s scalp and smiled as Roman moaned softly at the touch and leaned into Janus’s hand. 

“That’s all I could ever ask for, darling.”

“I just wish, that I could be more for Thomas, so much more.” Roman whispered looking away from Janus with moist eyes. 

Janus put their hand gently under Roman’s chin causing the side to look up. “You are more Roman, you are Thomas’s ideas, His creativity and his passion. You are the drive for him to make videos everyday for his job, you are important you are needed.”

Roman didn’t think he could wail louder than earlier but he did as tears cascaded down his face once again as he slammed into Janus.

“H-Hey I thought we were done with the crying bit” they tried to humor as Roman only cried louder Janus chuckled a little bit as they began rubbing Roman’s spine trying to ease as much tension as they possibly could. They felt Roman try to lean as far back as he possibly could so that he felt Janus’s fingers through his shirt.

Janus noticed his need for physical comfort and put both his gloved hands under Roman’s shirt and on his spine and rubbed shapes into his back. “What shape is this Roman?” He questioned trying to distract him from crying.  
“I-I don’t know!” Roman whimpered  
“Try again Roman focus” Janus said whispering encouragement in his ears while repeatedly doing the shape.  
“A-a Square?” Roman questioned  
“Correct!” Janus praised “and this one?”  
“A star?” Roman squeaked unsure of himself.  
“Excellent” Janus smiled as they could see how well Roman reacted to praising his actions  
“Well done Roman are you okay now?” Janus questioned  
“I just wish that I was good enough for Thomas.” Roman answered  
“Roman” Janus made Roman look into his eyes again “You were always good enough in my eyes.”

They both leaned in for a kiss.


	2. Forgiveness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roman might need a lot of recovery

They both stayed in Roman’s room together with Janus slowly rocking back and forth while whispering in Roman’s ear soft reassurances.

Janus was pretty surprised just how well Roman responses to praises. He could see how each praise he gives the side would make him perk up that much more.  
“There we go sweetie, are we all better now? No more water works?” Janus asked  
Roman nodded  
“Good I *wasn’t* worried at all.”  
“You were worried about me?” Roman chuckles  
“Ooooh nooo I *totally* want to see you suffer” Janus rolls his eyes causing Roman to bust out laughing.  
“Now do you wanna tell me why you cut yourself?” Deceit asked as he examined the cuts coating his wrists and legs  
Roman flinched “I-I”  
“Yes Roman? I’m listening.” Janus assures  
“I DON’T KNOW!!” Roman screams as fresh tears started to fall down his face.  
“H-hey it’s ok Roman you don’t need to answer, I was just wondering.” Janus quickly said to hopefully stop the tears, but to no avail it didn’t help.

“I-I just t-thought that if I w-wasn’t here then Thomas would have a better shot at his own goals.” Roman whispered while clenching Janus’s jacket.  
“Darling....” Janus sniffled “you are worth everything to me AND Thomas, you are his ideas HIS creativity.  
“I know but even so, he still has another creativity he can revert to.” Roman smiled when he said that but his eyes didn’t mean it.

“Roman, look at me.” They put a hand under Roman’s chin making him look into their eyes. “Remus doesn’t know the stuff you do, he could never do the job you do for Thomas. You two are so different and we need both of you.”

Roman looked at him with glossy eyes “really?”  
Deceit nodded “I forgive you for making fun of me but you need to learn how to forgive yourself.”

“I’ll try Janus.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will make more parts of this stay tuned😊

**Author's Note:**

> I will definitely make a continuation of this so stay tuned and comment ideas I love hearing your opinions.
> 
> And please if you notice spelling errors tell me so I can edit.  
> I also changed Janus to non-binary pronouns since I think they fit Janus best😊


End file.
